(photo Kinga Jaczewska)
The
need to take more free time and to live more mindful lives is today very
present. In times when everything happens so fast, so much and so non-stop, the
idea of slowing down is strongly attractive. The practices of slow breathing,
slow blinking, slow chewing, slow running, slow cooking, slow talking or slow
cleansing have become an ambition for many of us
but.
There are also many of us that without ever asking for it, are now stuck with
their fists full of free time; many of us that are living their minds’
fullness, and are at the same time being eaten by this very mindfulness; many
of us that have finally reached the moment of ‘independence’, ‘waterfall of
creativity’ or the awaited ‘real life enjoyment’, are now, delicately saying,
having some difficulties enjoying it.
Lightly exhausted from their own enthusiasm
and ongoing trying, they are hesitating whether to follow the ‘be patient
-let the things come to you’ sort of quote or rather the ‘don’t be
reactive – be proactive!’ one-liner… Wondering whom to write to, with whom
to meet and where to go to. Analysing when is the right moment to step into the
crowd of other eager, potential employees or when is it better to stay out of
it? When to giggle? When to, within a time of a shared but surely interrupted
glass of wine, begin to recite their own cv, a headshot, two dance pictures, a
motivational letter and a 5 year long development plan? When to do a backbend
and when to stop and walk away?
‘We-ll... rubbish!.’ – breaks in my keyboard...
They
are always questioning, answering, hoping, regretting, planning and
overanalysing. Always doing it all at once, always hoping for a ‘click’
somewhere on the way. Their talent of multitasking, that is now so commonly
practiced, is also known as versatility – a skill characteristic for contemporary
performers...
Or at least performers of a contemporary quarter life crisis whose competence,
passion, openness, commitment or hard work doesn’t seem to meet
equivalent opportunities. But then, perhaps, it is the equivalent opportunities
that cannot meet every willing body and mind, because there are simply
not enough of them. And so, perhaps, this is why these bodies and minds keep on
desperately searching for a direction to then be able to create these
equivalent opportunities themselves...
And here I think, is exactly where
the point might have gone missing. A point of a human being that is not
necessarily definable by the career stamp. A point that lifetime is a process,
which sometimes more to our likings and sometimes less, will always be a
process of searching during which ‘making it’ or ‘succeeding’ can only be
defined individually by every single one of us and in our own time - with no
rush.
Now, let’s just survive the winter.
December 2015.
The need to take more free time and to live more mindful lives is today very present. In times when everything happens so fast, so much and so non-stop, the idea of slowing down is strongly attractive. The practices of slow breathing, slow blinking, slow chewing, slow running, slow cooking, slow talking or slow cleansing have become an ambition for many of us
but.
There are also many of us that without ever asking for it, are now stuck with their fists full of free time; many of us that are living their minds’ fullness, and are at the same time being eaten by this very mindfulness; many of us that have finally reached the moment of ‘independence’, ‘waterfall of creativity’ or the awaited ‘real life enjoyment’, are now, delicately saying, having some difficulties enjoying it.
With many parallel thoughts tangled in their heads, they are
simultaneously concluding the past, considering the now and creating the
future, hoping that the speed of events will no longer be so slow. Wishing,
that their free time would soon be taken away from them or that somewhere on
the street, in the shop, on the radio, in the horoscope or maybe in the ‘9 star
Ki’ astrology, they will at least find a hint of a direction in which they
should go.
Lightly exhausted from their own enthusiasm
and ongoing trying, they are hesitating whether to follow the ‘be patient
-let the things come to you’ sort of quote or rather the ‘don’t be
reactive – be proactive!’ one-liner… Wondering whom to write to, with whom
to meet and where to go to. Analysing when is the right moment to step into the
crowd of other eager, potential employees or when is it better to stay out of
it? When to giggle? When to, within a time of a shared but surely interrupted
glass of wine, begin to recite their own cv, a headshot, two dance pictures, a
motivational letter and a 5 year long development plan? When to do a backbend
and when to stop and walk away?
Even when the inner discussion of pros and cons brought answers to
all these questions and everything is ready for the upcoming cultural situation
but for some reason they dare not to go or simply cannot attend then -
BANG!Another Spaghetti of thoughts hits their heads saying: ‘Oh you are giving
up!’, ‘Oh they won’t see your face!’, ‘Oh you won’t make any contacts!’ and the
well-known underline ‘Oh you won’t make it!’.
‘We-ll... rubbish!.’ – breaks in my keyboard...
They
are always questioning, answering, hoping, regretting, planning and
overanalysing. Always doing it all at once, always hoping for a ‘click’
somewhere on the way. Their talent of multitasking, that is now so commonly
practiced, is also known as versatility – a skill characteristic for contemporary
performers...
Or at least performers of a contemporary quarter life crisis whose competence, passion, openness, commitment or hard work doesn’t seem to meet equivalent opportunities. But then, perhaps, it is the equivalent opportunities that cannot meet every willing body and mind, because there are simply not enough of them. And so, perhaps, this is why these bodies and minds keep on desperately searching for a direction to then be able to create these equivalent opportunities themselves...
Or at least performers of a contemporary quarter life crisis whose competence, passion, openness, commitment or hard work doesn’t seem to meet equivalent opportunities. But then, perhaps, it is the equivalent opportunities that cannot meet every willing body and mind, because there are simply not enough of them. And so, perhaps, this is why these bodies and minds keep on desperately searching for a direction to then be able to create these equivalent opportunities themselves...
?.
I daily get amazed by this 75% water, brain of mine.
Its’ capacity to store miles of my glowing as well as cloudy thoughts, together
with some transparent, space taking ones, does impress me at times. At others
though, it drives me crazy!
This
contemplating selection just swims inside of my head confused and with no order
whatsoever, it is waiting to be organised or at least divided into
clearer files of: an assistant, an artist, a babysitter, a choreographer, a
dancer, a daughter, a foreigner, a friend, a girlfriend, an interviewer, a
maker, a performer, a researcher, a sister, a student,
an unemployed, a writer, a yoga teacher and somewhere amongst that, the least
interesting one – a human being.
…
And here I think, is exactly where
the point might have gone missing. A point of a human being that is not
necessarily definable by the career stamp. A point that lifetime is a process,
which sometimes more to our likings and sometimes less, will always be a
process of searching during which ‘making it’ or ‘succeeding’ can only be
defined individually by every single one of us and in our own time - with no
rush.
And even though I myself might be starting to understand this point, I
will still be hoping that speed and direction of life will soon become much more of
what me and many others wished for it to be and that many thoughts would
soon untangle, shorten and tidy themselves up leaving us with some space to
enjoy the very searching itself.
Now, let’s just survive the winter.
December 2015.
